This is to All Fucked Up Families

A group of people is sitting gathered around a wooden kitchen table. There are many words on the air, but these words have no meaning. Tables have changed, the group has increased, and some have left. They have gathered together all these years, yet they are still strangers to each other. They avoid specific topics, but only a look can tell that there is something beneath the surface. Welcome to the family.

Family Relations Can Be Tricky

I have observed different families over the past years, especially this summer. On the surface, everything can seem ok at first. But, when you spend more time and dig deeper, you can see that everyone has their wounds and secrets. There is a lot of darkness behind many family relations. Unspoken words that could change everything but are never said. Unfortunately, one of those families is my own.

The big question is; do you need to spend time with your family if it does not make you feel good? I used to be a people pleaser doing things as everyone else wanted. Now I’m trying to avoid conflicts and drama, so I walk away from certain situations.

I believe that there is a place and time for every person. For example, there are 5 minutes that you can say hi, there are one hour persons that you can meet for a coffee, and then there are other people with whom you can even have a day trip.

When there is a will, there is a way, and you can make every relationship work. However, many times especially family relations can be tricky. The past, habits, and emotional bonds may often form a barrier that prevents seeing the situation clearly in a moment of an argument.

Past Ghosts Paint Shadows on the Future

All of us have our past. Unfortunately, not everyone had the best childhood, and as many children grow up and try to become different from their parents, they fall into other kinds of mistakes. If parents haven’t dealt with their shit before raising kids, they will forward this darkness, wanted or not.

This entire life is about trial and error, but letting go of the past is crucial in forming healthy relationships. Open communication and respect is the key to success. Everything changes when you allow shadows on top of you to move on and let the sunshine in your life.

It’s about choice. Any childhood can become golden through understanding and forgiveness. For each behavior, there is a reason. Hurt people hurt, and bitter people spread bitterness. You don’t need to continue any unhealthy pattern from your past, but choose to let go.

Closest to You can Be the Most Brutal Ones

It’s painful to watch a friend struggling with her family. They don’t understand the entrepreneurial passion of their girl. So instead of cheering her up, they use all their time to criticize and pull her down. I’m waiting for the day when she will stand up and just walk away.

Many parents only want to protect their children, but they are doing it in the entirely wrong way. Society guides parents to raise children, avoiding making mistakes and taking risks. However, we only feel alive when we feel free and drag ourselves out of our comfort zone.

People in the same family rarely own similar interests. We’re all individuals with different opinions and desires. An ideal family appreciates each unique individual’s differences and supports their choices. I have also sat at dinner with such a family; the synergy is beautiful.

Wherever you go, you deserve to be respected. What you give is what you get, which also applies to your words and behavior. No matter who is in question, never sit at a table where respect is not served.

With Love,
Jenna

Founder of Thejennablog, Author of ‘The Scammer’s Trap’

For more information, visit:

Website: thejennablog.com
Instagram: thejennablog
Tiktok: thejennablog